The Consultation and support

The fish in the aquarium looked as if they wanted to get out of their tank. Listening to the Consultant I wondered if she understood depression at all. Freda needed support not put-downs. I held her hand trying to give her the support she needed as she opened up about how she had been feeling. I did not feel that a prescription for Citalopram and “ahh chin up, you will be okay”, was good enough.

Telling myself we were going to complain on the way out I stayed quiet. For those that don’t know our story, Freda was found unconscious in her ground floor flat after drinking too much whisky. We are musician’s, singing and playing the piano in pubs, Freda has now joined me. She plays the piano, while I sing. Music for me is great for lifting the spirits, watching her play the piano I can see she is smiling and hear her joy as her fingers fly up and down the keys. Music for me is a good healing therapy, giving support and emotional wellbeing. I feel any tension leave my body as I sing.

Trying to listen to Miss Jones, sitting there cross-legged she looked like she had just left school. I know that I should not judge but Freda and I are now in our early thirties and some of our experiences I’m sure would scare her.

Yes, this woman has the qualifications but we have lived more. I may sound ignorant but when I take advice from someone they will usually be older than me, often with grey hair. Her support today was straight out of a textbook and Freda was appearing confused and squeezing my hand.

Feedback

The consultation was now drawing to a close and we were handed a feedback form and envelope on the way out. We both politely thanked her and said goodbye.
“Ruby do you have a pen?” I reached into my bag and we sat again in the waiting room.
“What do you think?”
“I don’t think she gave you much support at all.  She was nice, but her questions were straight from a textbook.”

“Do I put that on the form?”
“Do you feel like you got anything out of today’s session?”
“No, not really.”
“Then write that on the form. There’s no point coming if you are getting nothing out of it.”
“Okay, I’ll write that.”

She completed the form and we put it in the envelope and sealed it. Now, giving it to the receptionist, we hoped that she would not open it as soon as we left. I’m sure feedback is supposed to be anonymous.

Time away

Getting into my car, we had decided that we needed some time out and get away, not quite ‘Thelma and Louise’, but a break.  For some reason, we had agreed to go camping. We hadn’t done this in years, but the car was already packed.  From the mental health assessment, we had collected Rex, Freda’s Labrador. His tail was wagging hard with excitement as if he knew he was about to go on holiday.

We are now doing 70mph down the carriageway. Time in the country, time away from the people we both know. Only for the weekend, but we knew it would do us both good. Freda needed my support and I knew this could help her.  After two rest stops at service stations, coffee and toilets, we arrived at our campsite. Now in the New Forest, we had expected it to be quiet, we were surprised to see the entertainment barn on site.
“Do you think they need two musicians? Freda asked.
“They just might let’s set up and then think about it. We are supposed to be on holiday and we have Rex.”

“Rex is generally good though, he will probably just lie down and listen or go to sleep.” I looked in my rearview mirror at the Labrador, he looked back at me and appeared to be smiling. Do dogs smile? I told myself I was imagining it.

Camping

Unloading the car we rapidly assembled the tent. The poles and canvas always confuse me but Freda had it sorted. Within an hour we were sat on our camping chairs outside the tent, boiling water on the camp stove. All I wanted now was a mug of tea and rest after the drive.

Freda and Rex were running around, playing with a stick. I looked at the other campers, mainly older couples, people our age will often have children at school. I hadn’t met the right man yet and Freda has just come out of a two-year relationship. After seeing the pain that Freda has experienced I am fearful of trusting anyone. She was thinking of marriage and children until John announced that he had been seeing weird Wilma. We are not sure what he sees in Wilma. Hair cut into a straight short bob and dyed blue and purple. She wears ‘Deirdre Barlow’ style glasses and her fashion sense is out of the seventies. However, I’m sure she has an amazing, fun personality. Freda is worth more than John. We both are, but how do you know that you can trust someone with your heart? Woken from my thoughts, Freda said,

Tea

“Where’s the tea, Ruby?”
“Sorry, I was thinking, will do it now.” Freda ran off again with Rex bouncing at her side. Thinking about the support that Rex gives to both of us I made the tea.

Freda came running back and picked up her mug, gratefully. Thirsty now she drank it straight down, Rex lay with a bowl of water by his side, happy to be with his two favourite girls.
Breathing in deeply, I was happy to be out of the city. Away from the cars and fumes. Surrounded by woodland it was nice to get away.
“Come on Ruby, let’s go and see if they have a piano and need entertainment.”
“Do we have to?”
“Yes, come on and then we can take Rex for a short walk.”
Reluctantly I stood up and stretched. I knew I had to move my lazy behind but I am tired. Finishing my tea, I put the stove and mugs inside the tent and grabbed Rex’s lead and passed it to Freda.

The entertainment barn

“Let’s go.” We now started walking towards the entertainment barn. Hearing the sound of the jukebox playing ‘David Bowie – Ziggy Stardust’. We both noticed the stage, old piano, and karaoke machine.
“Hello, ladies, how can I help?” We turned to see a young man with long brown hair in a ponytail, wearing blue jeans and a plain white t-shirt.
“Hi, we are Ruby and Freda, we are wondering if you are needing musicians this weekend.”
“We only have a piano and microphone so, you will need your own instruments”.
“That’s all we need, has the piano been tuned?” Freda asked.
“It was tuned a month ago but it is rarely used.”

“When do you want us?”
“I can’t pay you much, but we rarely have musical acts, your support would be good. It would be nice to hear live music in here. You can come tonight If you like, about 7 pm if you can.”
“We will see you later, sorry what’s your name?” I said.
“I’m Mark.”
“We will see you in a couple of hours.” I was happy to be singing but had been looking forward to a break. However, from looking at Freda’s eager face I could see that she needed it.

A walk

Walking now through the beautiful woodland I now felt more relaxed. Nature is all around us, Rex walking beside us with his tongue hanging out. We saw grey squirrels jumping through the trees and the leaves crackled under our feet. Rex pulled on his lead as a rabbit crossed our path. Seeing us it ran in the other direction, Bobtail bobbing as it disappeared into the hedgerow.

We all enjoyed the walk and were soon back at the tent heating sausages for dinner. Drinking more tea I wondered what the night had in store for us. Freda finished cooking the sausages and I drowned mine in barbecue sauce. Rex stood enjoying his and then lapped up his water noisily.
“I do hope he behaves tonight Freda.”
“He will don’t worry, all will be fine, you will see.”

Later we all walked across the field to the barn. As we entered we could see it was busy. The room wasn’t full of elderly people either it appeared that locals came here as well as campers.  Mark led us to the stage and fetched some water for Rex and coca-cola for us. Rex lay still as we hoped, head on his paws watching us.

Music

Freda sat down at the piano and proceeded to press keys whilst I checked the microphone. When we were ready to go, I checked on Freda and suggested we start with ‘Abba – Summer Night City’.
“Good evening everyone, we are Ruby and Freda, I’m Ruby and on the piano is Freda. How are you all tonight?”
There were a few “okays” from our audience. Rex now looked bored.

“We are going to start with music from ‘Abba’ I hope you enjoy it.”
As I started I could feel all the faces looking up at me. I then noticed Mark, stood there with his mouth open. As I sang I wondered how old he was. Then told myself to stop and concentrate.  An hour later when we finished, Mark came up to me,
“Wow, you are amazing.”
“Thank you, Mark, I do try.”
“Would you like to stay and have a drink with me?”

“I’m sorry, I’m here with my friend and we need to get back to our tent and rest.”

Missing

It was then that a woman came up to us with tears streaming down her face, sobbing hard she said,
“My three-year-old, he’s missing.”
I looked at Freda and Rex. “Maybe we can help,” I said.

Mark looked at me, “you will come back won’t you?” I glanced up at him, under his mop of brown hair, he was actually quite handsome.
“We will pop in tomorrow. Now I’m going to find my friend, her dog and help find the missing boy”.
I was hoping that Rex might be able to sniff him out. After all, he is a Labrador retriever, so surely finding a small child would be easy.

Taking the sobbing woman’s arm I led her to Freda, and then explained what had happened and our evenings mission and that she needed our support. She appeared concerned but I was sure that Rex could do this, he is a great dog and he would deserve a reward after this, maybe another sausage.

Written for Grammys Grid – 1st sentence-  The fish in the aquarium looked as if they..

For more see, Summer breeze and a need for music – Ruby and Freda – part one

Playing the piano and feeling fulfilled – Ruby and Freda – part two