It was a warm evening as I sat looking out to sea, my dog Rosie was sat next to me offering comfort. When life gets me down, I will often get in the car and just drive usually ending up sitting on a beach watching the waves crashing against the sand. The power of the water and the inner calm that it brings. I sat feeling a mixture of anger and hurt as well as elation and maybe a lucky escape. I had met Terry on a night out with friends, we had been so close, and I had thought that he might be the one. We had been together six months and a few days ago he dumped me in a text message. Why do men do this, build you up just to knock you down?
So here I am, single again, what is wrong with me? By now I should be able to write a book on relationships and educate others on what not to do. ‘What men do not want, what will make a man run?’ Maybe the point that Rosie my dog is so important to me. Rosie comes before anyone else and some men will just not understand how much of a family member a dog is. I have had Rosie five years now from a puppy, she is a very obedient cocker spaniel. I have now learned that the next man I meet will need to be a dog lover. What else could I have done wrong? I did not know. Feeling rather useless and abandoned I stroked my beloved pooch.
I am thirty now, my body clock is ticking. So, what now? Men are idiots. I’m a nice person, surely one day the man of my dreams will come into my life. Until then I need to make the most of what I have got. I had decided that I needed a holiday, I needed time away and I did not mind going alone. Earlier this week I had booked myself a last-minute week in Wales, just me and Rosie.
The next morning, I had packed and had the car packed by 10am. Starting the engine I waved goodbye to home. Time away from all the “told you so’s” and the “he’s not worth it’s”, well-meaning friends that really do not help. Thankfully work had let me book leave at short notice, for me a broken heart was a good excuse for an impromptu holiday. Taking the A2 I started to sing, as we finally reached the M4 I was starting to wonder why I had started this crazy journey. Eventually, I saw a sign for Neath and breathed a sigh of relief, it had been a long journey with many stops along the way.
The rolling countryside and the peace were just what I needed. I sat down in my cosy holiday cottage and thought about my life. Where was I heading? I was an administrator and I was not keen on my job, I was sure I was worth more. Maybe I should consider attending university, but, how could I? I have rent and bills to pay. What was I good at? I like children, could I teach? I was not sure, educating young minds, but could I really be an educator, I have enough problems educating myself. Maybe I could be a nurse, I’m caring and good with people, maybe I could do an apprenticeship and get paid to train. This didn’t seem like a bad idea except I get very attached to people, I would need to toughen up.
I spent six glorious days in Wales, trying to get my thoughts straight and as the saying goes, ‘wash that man out of my hair’. My life was miles away and it was good to be away from everyone I knew. I have always been a loner and the inner peace I felt here proved that. Rosie was enjoying all the walks and her tail was wagging non-stop. She especially liked Aberavon Beach at Port Talbot paddling in the sea and the Knoll estate in Neath with its pretty grounds. I could not help noticing the house prices in an estate agents window. I found a one bedroom terraced house for under £40 000 and it had spectacular views. I thought maybe I should skip the idea of studying back home and move to Neath. I didn’t think my family would approve of this, just a little bit too far to pop around for a cup of tea and a chat.
So, the holiday is now over, and I am now driving back down the M4 listening to Brian Adams on the radio, singing along to ‘summer of ’69’, Rosie is happily lying across the back seat. I am heading home, back to reality and the know it all’s. I have decided that no man is going to make a mug out of me anymore. I deserve respect and not to be messed around. I am also going to try and let the well-meaning advice wash over me. At least I’m not going to end up being a crazy cat lady, maybe I could be a crazy dog lady instead. I’m going to get my life together. I suppose Terry has made me reflect on my life and made me realise that I want more from it.
I was exhausted and relieved when I finally arrived home. I have learned from this experience that only I can look after myself. Later tonight I will look online at college and university courses. Till then I grabbed a bottle of wine out of the fridge, got down a glass and walked upstairs to have a bath with bubbles. I deserved it, I lay there and toasted Terry and the other idiots I have met, who have pushed me towards furthering my education and really making something of myself. I am a strong independent woman and I will now show the world, cheers.
From the writing prompt, Educate on Gary’s Blog.