Lord Robert McSnootington

What was I doing?  Lewis had said not to do this, and here I am.  Internet dating, maybe I should have skipped past his profile, but I had to know more.

Lewis had looked at his profile and laughed at Lord Robert McSnootington.   Surely, he was not actually a Lord. We had wondered who this man really was and then I did it.  The photo of a young man on an award-winning yacht did it. Had all my prayers been answered here? I could be Lady Joanna.  Lewis had screamed fake and scam, but I had to know.

Here I am sat in the ‘Coffee shop on the corner’. waiting for the man who claimed to be a Lord.  Feeling the butterflies in my stomach I wonder, Is my hair okay? Have I worn the right dress? Am I showing too much skin? What will he think of me?

Glancing out of the window I can see the people busily going about their day.  Hearing the tinkling of a bell I see a young man enter.  He was handsome and confidently walked to the counter. He ordered coffee and made a joke with the waitress.  This couldn’t be him but would be nice if he was as he seemed a friendly character.  Watching him I jumped as I heard,

Keith

“Err Joanna” An odd-looking man stood there.  Short with brown hair and glasses, not quite as handsome and older than his profile.  Are we ever as attractive as our profiles? This was a mistake; I shouldn’t have come.

“Hi yes, I’m Joanna”.

“I’m Keith, Lord Robert is just on his way.  I’m his Personal Assistant. What coffee would you like, there is a fantastic selection.”

I hadn’t looked at the menu card on the table. A PA, he has a PA.

Picking up the menu card, I smiled, relieved that he was not Lord Robert.

“Could I please have an Iced Whipped Choco Latte?”

Watching Keith I started to imagine why he might be late.  What Lordly duties might he be performing? Or was he just disorganised and slept through his alarm?  Was Keith just a friend?

So many questions. Maybe I should be more trusting but why would a real Lord be on an internet dating site?

As the bell tinkled again, Keith returned with my coffee. Seeing a younger man approaching I was more hopeful, this had to be him. The man nodded at me, and Keith now introduced him.

Lord Robert

“Joanna this is Lord Robert, Sir, Joanna.  I will leave you now.”

I was stunned as the waitress appeared with his coffee and then cake.  This was all a bit different. Certainly not what I was used to.

Robert was as handsome as his profile and spoke quietly. Having a conversation in  coffee shop was not easy, especially when one claims to be a Lord.

“Shall we get out of here Joanna? maybe go for a little walk.”

I was nervous, we’ve only just met and now we are walking. Seeing what I was thinking, he continued,

“It’s okay, there is plenty of people around, you are safe.”

The first date was certainly more romantic than I had expected. First the coffee shop and then a walk through town and along the river. He asked questions about me and my life.  I was itching to know more about him, but he was revealing very little.  However, he did say that he lives in a Manor House in the Kent Countryside. I was intrigued, not many men really listen to a woman when they talk.  He seemed genuinely interested in me, my friends, and my family.

Talking to Lewis later, he was not happy.

“I worry about you Joanna? Who is this man? What did you learn about him?

I had learnt very little but I intended to see him again.

“We talked about me, it was nice.”

“You know so little about him, you talk too much!”

Thoughts

Reversing his Range Rover in front of his house, Robert thought about Joanna.   He had liked her and was pleasantly surprised at how open she had been.  He had thought that it would take more than a walk by the river for her to tell him about Lewis.   Pulling out his notes from the case beside him he looked again at the photos.

Working undercover was not easy, and the plan to talk to Joanna was working. She needed to trust him.  As a single man, living by himself he did get lonely.  Keith had suggested the dating site.  He hadn’t known whether to be honest or pretend he had nothing. Keith had suggested a fake name, he had decided on McSnootington.  That wouldn’t be found on Google.   You can’t keep a secret now – everything goes straight on the Internet.  Lord William Teddington would have shared too much information.  So, for now he was Lord Robert.

It had been sheer coincidence that Joanna had said, hello.  He needed to find out about Lewis and here was his friend wanting a date with him.

Thinking of her, he knew he had to see her again.  He also knew that complications with Lewis could be a big problem.

Lewis

Who was this Lord? What was Joanna doing?  Lewis was suspicious, he trusted no one.  Wiping down his gun, he hoped that he was wrong.  No funny business. Joanna was his, she had rejected him time and time again, but one day she would be his.  If not him then no one would have her, certainly not Lord creepy McSnootington.

As his phone buzzed, he pushed to answer it.

“Yes”

“All done?”

“I’s done”

“No lose ends?”

“In the river, boss”

“Good” he hung up.

Putting the gun back in its case he then locked it in the safe.  Thinking again of Joanna, he wondered how he was going to deal with this? McSnootington had asked too many questions and was in his way.

Lord William

Born into money he had always been interested in crime. Setting himself up as a Private Investigator had been the obvious career choice.  He was Batman and Keith was Robin.  He had found himself falling for Joanna, he knew he had to tell her the truth, but the truth seemed too far fetched and he had lied about who he really was.  Though he was  a Lord, but how do you tell someone that their friend is a murderer? Would he need to? Maybe the police could intervene, and he could remain Lord Robert.  No, he needed to be honest with her.  Show her his home and his Yacht.

There were people going missing over town and suspicions were on Charlie Morris and his gang.  Lewis was one of them, he just had to prove it.

Hearing his phone buzz, he could see it was Joanna, he could feel his heart skip. Seeing her message he stopped.   Dinner tonight with her and Lewis, how could this work?  Pulling out his drawer he found his gun, alarm and digital recorder.  He knew that he had to go, put on a show, and maybe learn more about Lewis.

Lewis

Joanna had done it. He needed to meet this man, somehow, he needed to end him,

Evening meal

There was an uneasy quiet across the dinner table. Everything was still as they ate.  Feeling uncomfortable, Joanna picked up the dinner plates and left the room leaving the men to talk. Snarling at William, Lewis now showed himself,

“Stay away from her, or I will finish you.”

“Finish me, how?”

William pushed the record button in his pocket and his alarm that alerted Keith outside to the situation.

“If I can’t have Joanna, then you can’t have Joanna” he said, waving his gun in the air.

For the benefit of the recording and Keith, William replied,

“You have a gun, this was supposed to be a nice quiet meal.”

“Well, it’s not, so back off Joanna and stay away from her”.

“What, are you going to shoot me?”

“If I have to”.

He was making this too easy.

“Do you know how to use one of those?”

“Don’t make me show you, ” he sneered.

Hearing sirens outside he knew that help had arrived.

“What have you done? Why are they here?” Waving his gun in the air Lewis became more agitated.

Joanna

Hearing the conversation from the kitchen, I stood still.  Lewis had a gun, and how was Robert so calm about this? What was going on? Hearing the police sirens, I now opened the door, I didn’t need the door broken down in efforts to get to my gun holding friend.  Who is my friend? What is happening?

Two weeks later

Arriving at Hillcroft Manor House, I questioned what had happened here. I had now learnt that my Internet date was Lord William Teddington, and he was an undercover Private Investigator, recruited by the Police.   A real-life Bruce Wayne. He had been following Lewis for months and it was chance that we  had found each other on the dating site.  When he told me I was shocked, but soon realised that he had possibly saved my life.  I had not realised how obsessed Lewis was with me,  and the news that he was part of a murdering gang had been horrific. Once the police had his gun they had evidence to link him to many unsolved cases.

Lewis and I have been friends for years, I had never suspected that he had such an cold other life.  I had seen him as my brother rather then ever a lover and knowing he was now sat in a prison cell was hard. It is something that will take me a long time to accept.  Going from seeing someone everyday to not seeing them is hard for anyone, but learning that your friend is a cold hearted killer is something else.

Happy

As Lord William opened my car door, I wondered what I had done to deserve this. Maybe one day I would be Lady Joanna, but for now I just wanted to get to know him.  Learn more about the man behind the title, Lord.   I had suspected that he was a fake, but had not imagined this.  My saviour and hopefully future prospect for happiness. Smiling io myself I allowed him to hold me  in his arms. Life could only get better from here.

Written for Writers Unite! write the story photo prompt

For more  see, The cold truth behind the shoes on the line