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True love at last
Anne-Marie sat on her bed playing with her long brown hair. Dreaming of the one boy who she wanted to give her heart to, her true love. The shadows danced around the room. Life had not been easy, she was 35 now and single again. Her last relationship had ended suddenly when two timing Freddie had decided that blonde brazen Roxanna was a better prospect. She had been devastated, like he had put his fist into her chest and physically ripped her heart out.
Now months on, watching her pet chipmunk, Sonia, she thought about Jonathan, her friend the Architect. They had known each other most of their lives and he had always been there for her and her for him. If she had a problem, he was always the first person she would phone. She felt that there had always been something more between them but, had always been too scared to pursue it. She did not want to lose his friendship if it all went wrong.
He had been there for her through so many situations, he had always picked her up and made her laugh again. She thought of the time they had sat up all night, watching films and eating Chinese food. The time he had come with her to collect her new Pug puppy, William. Now sat lying on the floor next to her. The time she had been there as he had cried over his latest failed relationship with cruel Sandra, “its not you, its me”. He later found out that she had someone else which upset him even more. Jonathan also came with her to collect her first car, a Vauxhall Corsa that they had named Charlie. She did not want to lose his friendship but had known for a long time that she had really fallen for him. She then wondered if he felt the same..
Anne-Marie looked up at her calendar on the wall. The picture of the London city scape looked back at her. Glancing at the date, Friday 13th February she thought tomorrow is St Valentine’s day. Picking up her mobile she started typing frantically. After sending her text, she sat and thought, was she doing the right thing? Looking down at William, she now got off her bed, walked to the kitchen. A cup of tea might help.
* * * * * * *
Jonathan was walking his Jack Russell, Hetty, through the woods as he did daily. Listening to the crunching of the leaves and the wind whistling through the trees. He was enjoying his time alone and feeling relaxed. it was then that his phone buzzed. Reaching into his pocket he saw the message was from Anne-Marie. He smiled to himself thinking about her, she was the one girl who had ever felt true love for. However, he had always feared pursuing a relationship with her as she was his closest friend. He did not want to lose her.
She wanted to meet him tomorrow in the park. Wondering if the date was related to her wanting to meet, as it was Valentine’s day tomorrow he hoped that he wasn’t overthinking things. In past years they had had other people. This was the first Valentines day in years that they had both been single.
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It was 13.00 hours as the handsome Architect walked into the Newsagent and bought a Toblerone and some red roses. Feeling nervous he tapped in his pin number, smiling at the cashier he then walked out. He wondered if he should tell her how he really felt, would she reject him?
Walking into the park, he thought about what true love really meant. Did this mean marriage and children? Big commitment, maybe in time. Hetty led the way, tail wagging. She knew that she was about to see William. Jonathan had butterflies in his stomach as he got closer to their meeting place. There were children playing with a football nearby. Lots of laughing and screaming, There were families sitting on picnic rugs. and babies in pushchairs. The park was busy today.
William was playing fetch, happily retrieving his ball. He was then excited when he saw Hetty racing towards him. The dogs greeted each other and then Hetty fetched the ball. Jonathan thought surely this relationship is meant to be. The dogs are friends and are like family this could really work.
Anne – Marie sat on the park bench watching the grey squirrels racing about and the children nearby chasing each other and laughing. She was nervous but excited, hoping that she was doing the right thing. She knew that what she felt was true love but felt so scared. It was then that she heard his voice.
“Anne, sorry I’m late” he sat down next to her with a thud. She looked up and saw the roses, wow her heart beat faster, she told herself to not get too excited. Maybe they were for someone else. He then offered her the Toblerone.
“Oooh you old romantic, Toblerone, roses, its St Valentine’s day and there are squirrels playing on the path.” They both laughed and looked at each other.
“Anne, I need to tell you something.”
“I need to tell you something too.” They looked at each other awkwardly. Hoping that the other felt the same way but to scared to say it. He then reached up and put his arm around her. Anne-Marie did not push him away, she liked his arm there and she cuddled in closer.
They had known each other years, why had it taken till now to get this far? Maybe they both had to make their mistakes first to see the one person in front of them that was the right one for them. Jonathan pulled her in closer and played a little with her hair. She then looked up at him and it was now that their lips met for the first time. Finally, she thought, maybe now things will be right. They both hoped that they had now found true love at last.
For more see, A date for Valentine’s day
What is Valentine’s day?
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Feeling a sense of Loss
Sitting at the kitchen table, hugging my mug of tea, my face is wet with grief feeling a complete sense of loss. For the last 25 years I have run around after my family. Supporting, encouraging, cooking, cleaning. Now all has changed. As a mum of three I am very proud of my children and what they have become.
Things have not been easy, managing my family, balancing a tight budget. The children have always come before me. At times I’ve been thoroughly exhausted but still sat and read their favourite book for what feels like the 100th time. The Secret Seven is good the first time around but over and over when you can remember what is coming next, not so good.
The hours I have worked and the overtime to keep our roof over our heads. The things I have wanted and gone without for my family. Family is so important and we really need to look after each other.
When the children were little they, like a lot of kids, would run me a merry dance. Demanding and disobedient. The trips out, the places we visited, the castles, the woods, the beaches, the country walks. The climbing, the accidents, the trips to A and E. The nurses, the doctors. Then the sickness, the working with the kids in the house. Trying to make a work telephone call and they are crying for more toast.
So I have two daughters and one son. My eldest Vicky is 25 now, married with a couple of her own children, Jonathan is 22 and lives and works in London. , Lorna, is 20 and recently made the decision to use her amazing A level results and go to University. With a love for Mathematics she is now spending the next three years studying Economics in York.
Sitting here with a sense of loss, listening to the silence around me. We are no longer arguing about her loud music or the time that she got home last night, or morning. Her room is now tidy and stays tidy as no one is there to disturb the peace. I am hoping that now she is in York she will be able to balance the demands of studying with having a good time.
Despite the stress and despite all the hard work. If I could go back 25 years today, I would. The work gave me a sense of purpose. I felt needed, they all needed me there to look after them, including my husband. During the stressful child years I kept telling myself, these years will go quickly, all to soon they will be gone. Now that time has caught up and they are gone. Left now are me and Greg, rattling around this old house by ourselves. It’s nice to now have time alone but I’m going to miss those nights laughing with Lorna or arguing.
This home misses the family that was once here. It’s not nice feeling loss, I want my children back. I’m telling myself it is now time to move on. Time for me and Greg but how are we going to cope? We have not lived alone for 25 years now. Greg is more optimistic about things then me. Excited that our baby girl is doing so well and so ambitious to study economics. I have always been terrible at Maths, she takes after her dad for her brains.
It was only 2 days ago that Greg and I left her in her dormitory in York. A very small room, shared with another student. She had packed her own case and had taken her teddy bear. Ever sentimental she needed her bear. Lorna has had Bear since she was a toddler and he has been to all sorts of places with her. Some places not so nice, like the time that he fell down the toilet. So now he was on a new adventure at the University of York. Also means when I look in her room I feel that sense of loss again as Bear is missing. A reminder that Lorna is not here.
Drinking my tea, I wallow in my sadness. Suddenly I am woken by the front door slamming. I was not expecting visitors. I then hear children’s voices and then Vicky. Drying my eyes I get off my stool and put my mug in the sink. After putting the kettle on, I head to the hallway to meet them.
Greg had got there first and was making a fuss of the children. They were happily hugging Grandad. Vicky wanted to pass on how she had spoken to Lorna and how well she was settling in. For me this just reinforced the fact that she had gone. Vicky seemed to read my mind and said , “it’s all ok Mum, she is only in York, I’m still here and John is only 60 miles away in Bromley”.
“Yes love, I know, but it’s not the same” I said, “I know you all need your own lives but this house is so quiet without you all here. I will get over it , but right now my heart hurts, I feel loss now you are all gone. Lorna leaving has hit me hard”
“Oh mum, now is the time for you and dad. Now is the time for the two of you to do things for you. Travel the world mum, you are still young”
‘Err, no Vicky, you guys are still here and my grand children are here”. I bent down and picked up 2 year old Julie. Her blonde hair tied up in bunches and so pretty. She smiled at me and my heart melted. I could feel my tears welling up again.
Standing now looking and listening to Julie and her baby brother Thomas. I could now see that time was not over. Time was here, life evolves. Lorna was off learning and growing, she would be back in the holidays and we now have Face Time so we can always see her and talk with her online. Not the same but she was not thousands of miles away. John is only in Bromley and he is doing well. Vicky was stood right here in the kitchen with my grandchildren and Greg was sat happily playing with them. I realised in that moment that I had a lot to be grateful for and I really needed to shift my sense of loss.
For more see, Just one of those days
Written for –Blog battle – Loss
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A date for Valentine’s day
The sun reflected off streaks on my window. Sat on the windowsill I watched Freddie, my Jack Russell and best friend, running around the garden. Enjoying the scents, whether a flower or passing hedgehog. Deep in thought I contemplated my life. I was 28 and alone in the world. Being dumped sucks, especially as Valentine’s day is just around the corner. I kept telling myself that Ryan was just not worth it. We had been together just over a year and now just before the most romantic day of the year he had finished it. He didn’t want what I wanted, blah blah blah..
I was not happy, but I tried to stay positive and as Doris Day sang,“Que sera sera, whatever will be will be”. Sometimes I wished I could see the future, I would have been forewarned about Ryan and I would know what’s happening next. I doubted that I would spend the rest of my life single, but this was now going around my head. Freddie came in and I stroked his head, he jumped up into my lap and cuddled in.
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The street was noisy as people busied themselves with their lives. The young man stood staring at cards and then flowers. He questioned himself, he was not sure if the girl he liked, liked him in that way. Was he about to make a complete idiot of himself? He had liked her from the first time he saw her. Pretty brown hair, green eyes and an air of quiet confidence. She had a bubbly friendly personality and always smiled at him around the office. He stood thought and hesitated, put the card down and walked out of the shop.
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It had been a hectic day and I was tired. I pushed Freddie off my lap as it was now starting to get dark outside and pulled the curtains. Freddie walked over to his basket, turned some circles and then laid down, head on his paws.
Running the bath water, I was grateful for bubble bath and being able to relax. I lay there amongst the bubbles. Ryan did not want me, I wondered who would. I thought to myself about Julian at work and smiled to myself. He was tall, brown hair and very cute. Though all the girls liked him so I thought it very unlikely that he might think twice about me.
Apart from that I had just come out of a relationship so would it be rebound? However, I had liked Julian for months. I noticed him when he first started working at Francis and Webber. He is a Solicitor and I am a secretary. Lying now I thought about the future, maybe I should just focus on today for now. Getting out of the bath, I grabbed my towel, dried myself and got dressed.
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It had been a long day, Robert sat watching Macgyver, working on his lap top. Thinking about the girl at work who held his heart. He had over heard her tell Stacy that she had been dumped. Stupid Ryan, he thought, but maybe he might have a chance now. He was a lawyer at Francis and Webber, he had been to Rachel’s home a few times just as a friend. Now he sat on a card website wondering whether to send something in the post to her to tell her how he felt. Valentine’s day seemed a good opportunity but would it be awkward at work if she didn’t feel the same?
Robert didn’t have the nerve to give it to her in person. Deciding to do it he started to create a card. Should he write her a poem? Would that make her like him more? Though he was not going to start with, ‘Roses are red and violets are blue’. Thinking about his poem, he composed it and typed it. He was not the best poet but he wanted to make an effort for Rachel.
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Julian sat drinking his Costa coffee, did he go back to the card shop or did he leave it? Valentine’s day was two days away. Contemplating the what if’s, he then decided that he needed to do something and now was the time. After finishing his coffee he walked back to the shop. He chose a card and picked up the biggest most expensive box of chocolates.
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Two days later I arrived at work, feeling a little low with Valentine’s day blues. I was happily surprised to find a card, some flowers and a large box of chocolates on my desk. My heart raced as I opened the card. Reading it I could not believe that it was from Julian and he wanted me to have dinner with him that evening, wow I thought. I felt weak, how was I now going to concentrate on my work day? Robert then appeared, he smiled but looked a bit confused, smiling back I offered him a chocolate. I had always liked Robert, he struck me as kind and genuine. I wondered if he was alright as he refused a chocolate and he appeared upset. Then distracted by Julian staring over at me, I forgot how sad Robert looked.
That day I raced home from work to get ready. On my doormat I found a large Valentine’s card. Freddie raced up to greet me as I opened it, I was surprised to see it was from Robert and he had written a beautiful poem. Hmm so what now? the cute Solicitor or the nice looking lawyer? I was not expecting this. Whilst getting changed and dressed up for Julian I wondered about Robert, no wonder he had been upset in the office earlier when he saw the chocolates. Maybe Julian would be a handsome bore. I certainly know Robert better and he know’s how to make me laugh, but he has always just been a friend.
I was very soon saying goodbye again to Freddie. Shutting my door I was happy to be on my way out again for a romantic evening on Valentine’s day. An evening I had imagined that I would spend alone.
For more see Love is hard
Wikipedia – So why do we celebrate valentine’s day?
written to link with https://esmesalon.com/senior-salon/
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