Lying in bed I listen to the noises around me. Silence broken by kids playing. Husband already downstairs getting breakfast. Sleep is over and now a memory. I lie thinking about the day ahead as my 5 year old comes in and jumps on me. We hug, her warm arms comforting me and I can feel her heart beating. Thoughts of the pile of ironing waiting for me, school uniforms and homework still to finish.  Sunday is very busy when you have two wonderful children.

Last night I watched “The Accidental Husband”, husband was not well and the kids were asleep.  I sat feet up drinking my hot chocolate and thinking about Patrick played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan. The excitement that he gave to his character. Then the boring Richard played by Colin Firth.  It occurred to me that times to do crazy exciting things were over. We should have done them years ago.  Now it’s work, school, kids. How do you get out of that cycle? The stresses of kids not doing as they are told, already today my 7 year old has had an argument with daddy and is now sat in his room.  I love my children very much but so much has changed over the last 7 years and without realising we have just adapted to it.  I wonder sometimes if it is better to have them when you are younger rather then your late 30s. I then realise there are things we would not have done had we had them earlier. I will be 60 when my 7 year old is 25 making me an older grandmother one day. Hopefully we will stay healthy and be able to do exciting things together when we are older. Somewhere along the way maybe the kids will get easier as they grow up and join the excitement.  Would be nice to be spontaneous sometimes but at the moment things need planning.  I get up in the morning and know what’s happening during the day. Sometimes the thought of getting in the car and driving somewhere does enter my head. Then I think of the complications, the stress of a shopping centre and the constant “I want”. Castles are a safe bet, but for now we have visited the local castles over and over.

So here I am now, my coffee and weetabix are calling me. I need to face that pile of ironing. I also need to help finish painting a Roman shield and do spellings with both children.  Plus other housework, the list is endless. Sitting enjoying the silence of the bedroom I feel grateful for moments like this. A time where I can just contemplate my thoughts and try and get myself ready for the day ahead of me. Thankfully my husband will often cook on a Sunday so I do not need to worry about that today. However he has decided we are not having a roast, he wants spaghetti and meat balls. The kids are very excited as they love meat balls, they are one thing that they are guaranteed to always eat.  So into the day I now go and face the rest of my family, I need my coffee.