• star of the week
    Parenting

    Friday Star of the week

    Friday morning again, I was glad that I did not have to go to work today. My daughter was happy as I helped to get her dressed and pulled up her tights. The sickness of the early week has now passed and she is back to her normal self. We got out of the house on time, then left daddy at work and went on to school.  Whilst parking the car, my 7 year old was trying to climb into the front.  Why do kids do this? Yes, I was reversing slowly, but why does he not just stay in his seat until the car is parked and the engine is off. The amount of times we have discussed car safety and he just ignores me.

    My children’s school does ‘Star of the week’, on Fridays. Every week a child from each class is a star for their hard work during the previous week. On Tuesday my daughter’s class did a poetry performance.  Today her whole class were stars of the week. Her teacher asked them to tell their poem about a cloud. The class started reciting, my 5 year old just stood there with her mouth closed. I’m guessing that she did not know the words, but she had been unwell from Friday through to Wednesday. It was very well rehearsed.

    After assembly, I came home and did some housework. The peace of the house and time alone was lovely after the stress of the last week. Later I went back to collect the children. My daughter had forest school today which she really enjoys. She told me that they had made pine trees, I’m not really sure what she meant. My son had had a busy day and had done some baking, they had made biscuits.

    Daddy came home early today so when I brought the kids home he had prepared some toasted sandwiches for them. They are always hungry after school and toast is often the first thing they ask for as they walk through the door. Driving home I told them we had to do homework, so no Kindle and no IPad. Both kids left me to unpack the car so I struggled in with all the bags. By the time I got in they were both sat staring at screens, hence no homework was done tonight. They had told daddy they didn’t have any homework and he had believed them.  Tomorrow the task is homework before playing. Problem is though the kids often win daddy over, then I come down and start laying down the law, they then push against it. Round and round in circles I go.

    My 5 year old helped me tonight with cooking dinner. They didn’t eat much as chewing beef is hard work. It’s frustrating that they will eat fish fingers and pizza, but rice, beef, mushrooms, pepper, turmeric and black bean sauce, they are both not keen. How do you persuade children to eat nice nutritional food?

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    Tonight they were not as good getting to bed.  Daddy read them a story about muddy puddles. There was a lot of running around and then soon after, they went to sleep. We haven’t had to yo-yo up the stairs for a few nights now which is good.

    I’m glad it is the weekend again tomorrow, hopefully, they will do their homework tomorrow morning. Then maybe we can relax a bit and enjoy the weekend.  We need to work on my daughter’s spelling and reading. She is a little behind and I need her to let me help her. At the moment she is not interested even with using my Kindle. I keep telling myself she is only 5, she has plenty of time to catch up with her peers.

    Anyway, I am now going to get some rest, we are watching ‘Seal team’ again. Try and build up my strength ready for the stress and work of the weekend and the ongoing job of being mum.

    see also Friday Sickness, https://justmuddlingthroughlife.co.uk/2018/11/23/friday-sickness/

  • Confidence let me down here
    Parenting

    Thursday self confidence

    Another Thursday, another cold wet day. It started in the same way. Same issues with the children. My son insisted he wanted to wear his trainers to school (as he had left his shoes at school yesterday). I told him he was not to wear his nice trainers for rugby. I can hand wash his plimsolls. His trainers are a bit more work. My daughter again cried when I brushed her hair.

    Once at school, we were putting down their bags in the hall ready for the breakfast club. I realised my daughter had smuggled her pretty notepad and ‘My little Pony’ pencil case into school. I took them off her and she cried. One of the teaching assistants helped me to calm her down, I didn’t want to leave them at school as they are pretty and she would be very upset if she lost them.  My daughter is a little magpie when it comes to pretty things and I’m sure there are other magpies in her class. She came home with another hair clip today, proudly wearing it in her hair.

    So today 25 years ago I started my first job, other than a paper round or picking strawberries.  I was a very timid 17 year old, I had dreams and a boyfriend who I imagined I would spend the rest of my life with. Life does not often follow the path you think it will and mine certainly hasn’t.  25 years ago I could have chosen to attend college and pursue a career that I could still have been doing today. It would have been three years of study, why didn’t I do it?  Fear played a big part. The fear of failure, the fear that if I if I could not do the course I would be unemployed.  

    I didn’t pursue that career, I did A levels and a university degree at evening classes instead, whilst doing my full-time job with plans of teaching, a total of 8 years of study.  Confidence let me down here,  I could not stand in front of a class of children.

    Life brings us so many choices, we never know for certain if we have made the right ones. 25 years ago I spent my day learning a new job and I might have cleaned some shelves. Today I visited some lovely people, discussed their health and made a very nice elderly man laugh.  I’ve spent a total of 23 and a half years in the NHS and I’ve cried plenty of tears. However, the people that I meet in my daily job are amazing.  I have played four different roles over the years and this is the best one.

    We never know for certain why things happen the way they do. My boyfriend when I was 17 did not end up being my life partner liked I hoped he would.  There was more heartbreak before I met my husband nearly 13 years ago (February 2006).  Does it matter that I am on the same pay scale now that I was on about 20 years ago? What actually does success mean? 25 years ago I wanted a job that was worthwhile and makes a difference. Today I help make people feel a bit better about themselves, my patients are what matters.

    My experience has shown me just how important school and self-confidence is. I have been in self-destruct mode most of my life.  I have to help give a presentation in a few weeks and I’ve been worrying about it for a while now, I get very stressed and my mind goes blank. This is one reason that I’m stuck on the same pay band. I keep telling myself there is a reason for everything and maybe I’m just not supposed to have the stress of a higher pay band.

    I try and encourage and support my children, I don’t want them to have the same fears that I do.  They do try so hard and when they fall, I try to quickly pick them up.  They are both confident today, if they have the same confidence in 20 years they will both go far. When I encourage them with their reading and homework I do it because I know how important it all is.  

    I got upset with my 7 year old this evening because his reading book is at school. His spellings are stapled to the book I write in for him.  He is in the top group for spelling, his spellings this week were hard. All week he has been refusing to practice them. This evening I intended to spend time revising them before his test tomorrow. He has now left the book at school so we are not going to be able to go over them. Tomorrow he is going to be upset when he does not get 10 out of 10, but without his book, I can’t help him.

    My little girl was happier today and she ate more of her dinner tonight, she says she had pizza at school.  My son did not do as he was told with his trainers, yes he wore them for rugby.  They are filthy and no I’m not impressed, again why do my kids not do as they are told? And why don’t they look after their property? We found out tonight that he had left his coat at school. Hopefully, it will be found tomorrow.

    Both kids went straight to bed tonight. I am grateful that bedtime seems to be getting easier. Just hope they continue to be good. My daughter is insisting on leaving her bedroom light on all night and I don’t have an answer to what to do about it.  I have considered a smart bulb so she can ask Alexa to turn her light on and off without moving in bed.  However, at 5 years old I am sure she will abuse that pleasure and her room will soon be a disco in the day.  A night light is no good as the only plug socket in her room is located behind her bed,  any ideas here? Because I do not have any.  Getting up at 3am in the morning to put her light on is no fun.

    So 25 years ago today I did not imagine I would be here today. I was not aware of the troubles and hard work ahead.  I have maybe another 25 years of my working life to go, I wonder how they will play out.  Will I still be doing the same role and how much will it change? Will we still have an NHS? I really hope so.

    None of us know our futures, I don’t think I want to know mine. There are things I wouldn’t have done had I known the end result, however,  life is all an experience and life is what we make it.

    So a bit of a longer post tonight, the kids are asleep and I am now going to get some rest. Tomorrow is Friday, another day and more challenges are on their way, plus the daily ongoing stress of being mum.

    See also, Thursday Sniffles, https://justmuddlingthroughlife.co.uk/2018/11/22/thursday-sniffles/

  • School had said that she had not been too well this afternoon
    Parenting

    Wednesday unwell at school

    Today started just the same, I really did not want to get up this morning and daddy shouted up to me to get out of bed. It was hard to find the motivation to face the world rather than hide away under the covers. Once out of bed I went and woke my 5 year old.  She was not happy to see me and groaned as I dressed her.  I think she wanted to stay in bed too, but no the outside world of Wednesday was calling.

    She was not happy when I tried to drag her brush through her hair. These last few days she has refused to brush it and it was starting to look like straw. Her screams sounded and I’m sure it was painful. It is hard to get a 5 year old to understand that if she allows her hair to be brushed it will be less matted and knotted.   So consequently my daughter went to school with her hair still messy but no longer looking like straw.

    We drove through the morning traffic, leaving daddy at work and then taking the kids to breakfast club. I left my daughter eating her shreddies and honey, hoping my phone would not ring to tell me that she had been unwell.

    My 7 year old lost his school fleece yesterday.  When I left him today I realised as I took his coat off that he was not wearing his jumper. Fearing that he would be cold I mentioned to the nice lady in reception about his fleece, she then found it for him, he had left it in his classroom.

    Leaving them both at school I drove to work, the weather today was wet and gloomy. I was relieved when I was finally back home and was sat indoors with my mug of tea and laptop.

    When I finished work I went to collect the children. On arriving at my parents my heart sank when I saw the cardboard bowl on the floor. My dad reassured me that she had not been sick. School had said that she had not been too well this afternoon. She was asleep on my parents’ settee and was then upset when I woke her to take her home.  I did tell her I could leave her there but she then got up and allowed me to put her shoes on to go home.

    It was then we noticed that my little boy was wearing his plimsolls. He had had forest school today and had a bag full of dirty clothes plus dirty wellies.  It had not occurred to my dad that his shoes were missing. It was now that he admitted that he had left his shoes at school. He had got them wet playing in puddles and they were now sat on the classroom radiator. I really hope they are alright and he will get them back tomorrow. They are expensive Clarks shoes, why can’t my children look after their clothes? Yesterday his fleece jacket and today his shoes. My daughter’s pink Peppa Pig scarf is still missing. They don’t seem to understand the importance of looking after their property.

    My daughter refused her dinner tonight. I made her fish fingers because they are her favourite, she pushed them away and went back to watching Paw Patrol. I didn’t force her to eat because I do not want her to be sick again.

    Putting them to bed tonight, I noticed my 5 year old has drawn with a biro on the wall behind her bed.  In my son’s room, she has scribbled with a black pen on one of the Ikea boxes on his Kallax unit.  My daughter loves her pens and drawing, I really wish she would not draw on the walls and furniture.   Why do children do this? Why can’t they just use paper?   They both went to bed quickly tonight which made things easier, no yoyoing up and down the stairs.

    So another Thursday tomorrow and another busy day. More miles to cover and people to see. My little boy has rugby again, so more muddy clothes and hopefully, he will find his shoes. Maybe his teacher has taken them off the radiator for him.

    I am now going to get some rest and relax, try and be more energetic and motivated to face the day tomorrow and the stresses of being mum.

    see also Friday Sickness, https://justmuddlingthroughlife.co.uk/2018/11/23/friday-sickness/

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