Vivacious woman
blog battle,  Fiction writing

The love and death of vivacious Sarah

Two weeks ago

She sat, brown hair shining as the sun reflected on it. Miles watched her vivacious beauty as she sucked on her straw. The orange juice slowly going down in the glass. Entranced by her he knew that she could have any man, but she had chosen him. Tracing the lines on her face, Miles admired her as she watched the boats bobbing on the sea and the children playing on the beach.

They had visited this restaurant many times. It was their favourite, with its sea view and vibrant atmosphere.  Sarah was vivacious, full of life. Everywhere she went she lit up the room, everyone loved her. For Miles, she was the centre of his world. He knew that he was lucky to be with someone as special as her.

Present day

So, why had things changed so dramatically? Miles sat in the empty room. The crime scene investigators had gone. The pain in his chest would not diminish. He needed Sarah, why had someone taken her from him?

The white tape still laid round where her strangled body had been found. A reminder of the woman he had lost. Who despised her enough to do this? People had flocked to her sparkling personality. What had gone so wrong?

Stroking the arms of the warm chair, he gazed around the room. Was there someone she had upset? Someone she had wronged? He only knew vivacious happy Sarah. Focusing on the wooden dresser, Miles decided to start his own investigation. The police had said they would find her killer, but would they? So many crime books told otherwise and he hoped he was not a suspect.

Pushing himself up from the chair, he walked over to the dresser. Opening the top drawer, he found a pile of envelopes bound with an elastic band. Pulling them out, he stepped back to his chair and sat down. Miles felt like an intruder reading through her personal post but this needed to be done.

The poem

Opening the first envelope his heart started to race as he read,
To my darling Sarah,
If I can’t have you, then no one can,
Miles he is a lucky man.
If you don’t come to me,
Then your life will no longer be.
Vivacious Sarah, I need you here,
And if not, you will live in fear.
W.  X

W? Who is W? Poetry was supposed to be nice, not threatening. Sarah had chosen him over W. He opened another letter revealing another bad poem, again signed by W. Picking up Sarah’s phone he checked her phone contacts. There was no W. Phoning her best friend Ruth, Miles told her what he had found, and asked if she knew who he was.

Ruth

“Miles, the only W I know is Wendy, and she is married with two children. Though, Sarah has been acting strange for the last few months. Her conversation has always reverted back to you but she has made some odd comments.”

“Like what?”
“She spoke about weirdoes and respect. She adored you Miles and was pleased you never wrote to her.”
“Why would I write to her? I saw her nearly every day ”.
“Maybe, now we know about W. We can assume that Sarah had enough poetry in his creepy threats. Miles you never sent her poetry or threats. You told her how you felt in person, she loved that. You made her happy Miles”.
“Sarah made me happy too and now W has murdered her.”
“Have you given the poetry to the police?”.

W?

“Not yet, I was hoping to solve the mystery of W.”
“Seriously Miles, this is not some crime show, this is real life. You are not a detective and we don’t know W.”
“Did she mention any W at work.”?
“Do you really think a teacher is capable of this Miles?”
“He might have been a parent. Ruth how long have you known Sarah?”
“Only about two years.”

“Well, I’ve only known her eighteen months. Not long enough Ruth, she very quickly became my world and now he’s taken her. I’ve got her phone, do you know anyone other then her mum who has known her longer?”
“Hmm, is Georgie on there? They knew each other at university?”

Scrolling through the phonebook he found Georgina.
“Okay, Georgina must be her, I will try her, thank you Ruth “.
“Good luck, but please give those letters to the police. You don’t want to be done for withholding evidence.”
“Okay, I’ll phone her now.

Georgina

Feeling sick he listened to the ringing, willing Georgie to answer.
As she answered, he could detect a sadness in her voice.
“Hi, Georgina, my name is Miles.”
“Miles?”
“Sarah Brewster’s partner.”
“Oh hi, I’m so sorry, I haven’t seen Sarah in months and I’ve just been told what happened.”
“Yes, she was found strangled on her lounge floor.”
“Terrible news, Sarah was lovely, she had no enemies”.
“Do you happen to know a W?”

William

“At university there was William Thorn. He was crazy about her but she never reciprocated.”
“Any idea what happened to him?”
“After graduating he got a job at a school in York. I don’t know where he went after that.”
“Do you think he would be mad enough to strangle anyone?”
“Miles, really, are you conducting your own investigation. Leave it to the police.”

“I found threatening love poetry, signed by W. He might he her killer. I’m going to go to the station and hand them in.”
“Do, Miles, I hope you are right, Sarah did not deserve to be strangled. She was vivacious and truly beautiful. The world is a sadder place without her in it. I’m regretting not staying in touch with her, she was an amazing woman.

Visit to the police station

Hanging up on her, he bundled together the poetry.  Hoping that the police would follow up on his suspicions and find William.  Surely he was the likely killer.  Miles knew that he needed to leave it for the police, he had to be patient.

Huntsfield Gazette – three weeks later

The headline read, ‘Vivacious Sarah, pursued by evil teacher’.  Miles had been right.  The police thanked him for finding the poetry and working out who W was. He had helped to bring the case to a close.  They had found William Thorn teaching at a local school in Huntsfield.  He had been stalking and terrorizing her for months.

Soon after, it evolved that William had stalked other women as well.  Sarah was the first he had killed but others had been followed and threatened. Two others had come forward, relieved that he was now behind bars but sad that a woman had been killed.

Miles knew that nothing would bring Sarah back.  He now had to live with his memories and move on to life without her.  Glad for the short time that they had together but sad that it had ended so suddenly. In time he maybe would move on, but for now he preferred to sit quietly with his thoughts and just remember her.

Written for Blog Battle – Vivacious

For more see, A bucket of dreams and a rock star life

9 Comments

  • aebranson

    Ooh, I love a mystery! I felt sorry for Miles but did wonder why Sarah never mentioned anything about William to him. Maybe there could have been a hint how although she was generally vivacious, once in a while he would catch her in a more contemplative mood. Nice plot!

  • Gary

    Very well put together Marian. Also like the short headers between sections too. That’s something I like doing too on occasion. Miles worked the scenes well too. Hopping back and forth after finding the poems. Pity the word count restricts development further. I imagine a great deal raced through his mind finding letter and poems he wasn’t privy too before. You could trace all sorts there like was she cheating on him? Is that why they were hidden and never mentioned? W could have easily be on her phone too, but under an alias. So many emotive directions. Each changing how he approaches the plot after.

    That said your direction was very good. Not easy to pack loads into 1000 words is it!!

    Great entry

    • Just muddling through life

      Thanks, Gary, I’m pleased you liked it. Yes word count really is hard.. this one is already over 1000 words. Thanks for the feedback. It occurred to me that he found the poems to easily but there weren’t enough words for a proper search.

      I’ve started putting headers in because yoast encourages them for SEO, it does split it up though making it easier to read.

      Yes there is so much more that could be in this story , Thankyou!

      • Gary

        Ooh, so much more could be in this story…sounds like a potential new WIP!!

        One thing I’ve learnt from short story writing is condensing out what is non-essential in order to cohere plot elements. There’s just not enough words to play around with if twists crop up. Mind you, there’s no reason one couldn’t do part 1 and follow a part 2 later. Hmm, why did I not think of this before!!

        Re Yoast, sometimes it’s better to remember what it is your posting. Writing stories, by nature, doesn’t always lend itself to using headers. If it’s an informative post then a big yes for traction. Stories attract readers rather than masses of hits from all over. They return and generally comment too. Top bloggers like Janice Wald really need SEO more than someone like me. I’m not saying it’s not important, but keep in mind what you’re writing rather than forcing it to match what Yoast wants it to be. I have a post in mind on this very subject!

        • Just muddling through life

          Okay thanks, I’ve written quite a few stories now and poems with headers.. I’ve become obsessive about the traffic light system.. both green or if I can’t get green at least Amber.. Yes my blog is not great for SEO and people aren’t really searching for it as mainly fiction.

          Yes the restriction on the word count does make it hard as yes this could have been in two parts. Knowing what to take out and keep in could take quite a few drafts..

          • Gary

            That’s the problem with SEO watching lol. It becomes absorbing and deflects from why you blog at times. It’s not referrals that really make an impact, but comments. I’d rather have fewer stats to worry about and a healthy comment count any day. Pinterest gives me hundreds of hits a month, but that doesn’t translate into a single comment. I actually think many of us are more concerned with stats and forget that no comments generally means bounce in and out without actually reading the content. That said, targeting the right audience for your content is probably a better method….especially re Twitter.

            Maybe you could try what a few BB writers are doing now. If it looks like it might grow then turn it into several parts. You might find that creates a whole new WIP lol

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