Happiness and life

Happiness

What is happiness?  Is it that overwhelming feeling you get when something good happens? Is it the smell of eggs and coffee as you wake up? Or the anticipation of something good happening soon, a holiday perhaps? Or the knowledge that all is well with your world? My image here shows my daughter standing on a bridge looking at a river.  Was she happy? she was certainly relaxed.

We can all plummet from overwhelming happiness to huge sadness in a matter of seconds.  Is it just the human condition or is it that the lives we all walk are rarely easy.   I turn on my phone and glance at Facebook. All the happy faces, going about their happy lives.  Are they happy? We all share with the world what we are prepared to show.   This morning I took a photo of myself and my ten year old walking to school.  Yes, we were happy in that moment, what it doesn’t show is my daughter’s possible anxiety about school and my thoughts of what I need to get done today.  The thoughts of what I need to do and what I want to do.  Currently I’m neglecting my tip of a house to write!  My thoughts of losing my dad in 2020, yes, some wounds will never heal!  Or my washing machine brain with all my personal anxieties about myself.

All of us have our own personal struggles, I don’t think anyone has it easy.  What is life about?  Are we all being challenged? Is it all some great long test? Are we all going to be sat in heaven sitting an exam one day about what we have learnt in our time on earth.  Interesting thought but I hate exams!

Struggles and woes

Regardless of our struggles and woes, or all the good things that may be happening we al need time for self-reflection.  Some of us don’t have that time, impossible you are possibly shouting at me!   When life gets stressful, sometimes we need to step back. We need to see the bigger picture.  In the moment a problem can seem huge!  If we step back and ask ourselves, will this matter an hour from now? Will it matter in a week’s time? Do I really need to be putting all my energy into it?  The issue might feel lighter and not weigh as heavily on your thoughts.  I should be tidying and cleaning the lounge, but I know if I do by tomorrow afternoon it will look as bad as it does now.

This may be a bad example but I’m sure all of us have worried over things that hours / days later have resolved themselves and not been worth worrying over.   They got this right in Disney’s – The Lion King – Hakuna Matata – no worries! I love this film!

We all, everyone of us, tries to strive for a happy life. I hear stories of those that have given up. Those that maybe have it harder than others and tried to battle through.  Matthew Perry being an example of someone that many of us saw as Chandler Bing on friends and didn’t know the pain he was in until reading his Autobiography. Sadly now a huge loss as he was working so hard to help people with addiction issues, and loved by many as Chandler Bing who made so many of us laugh.

Happiness and our lives

I’m sure there are many others suffering that the world outside is not aware of.   My message here is all of us are fighting a battle, we all have our struggles.   We are all fighting for happiness, working hard to provide for our families. Helping with homework, worrying about our children – a very valid worry.  I read an unhappy post on Facebook this morning and so many people have responded that she is not alone.  Life’s challenges are sometimes just overflowing!

Problems

Some of our problems are bigger than others.  My friend is about to move into a house with her two children that needs a complete replaster and a huge amount of work.  There are no carpets, and the kitchen and bathroom are in a poor state. The positive is that she has a house and in the long term after all the work is done it will feel more of a home.  In the short term she is leaving the comforts of her furnished flat for a huge amount of work and stress.  She is not a DIY expert and I’ve offered to help paint.  I’m not good at DIY either.   In the short term she will be hugely overwhelmed but in the long term hopefully more happiness will follow.

Our lives are all evolving, and challenges ever coming.  Today I phoned Sky mobile about a Sky phone swap.   As the call finished, she tried to sell me a tablet. £3.66 a month sounds good but that is for 48 months – £175.68 – do I need a new tablet – No.  Was I tempted – yes.

I look out the window at my garden, the weeds have taken over, and its cold outside.  I’ve chosen to sit here on my laptop this morning and type instead.  I need to write more! Having a tidy garden does bring me happiness but it also involves many hours of work. Remembering why I started this blog, it was due to the stresses of life.  The ups and downs of a working mum. Putting things on paper – getting those negative thoughts out of your head can help find happiness!  I also need to get back to writing my book, I haven’t looked at in months.

My dad

I’ve written quite a few blog posts about losing my dad to Pancreatic Cancer.  My sister, Nicola is now fronting Pancreatic Cancer UK s no time to wait campaign in the UK.   We are petitioning the UK government and collecting signatures.  If you are in the UK please do sign the petition as every signature really helps. Nicola has been on the radio, the local news and to Westminster to help get our message across.

There is so much in life that we can dwell on, stress over, feel depressed over.  If we all take that time to stop and step back, maybe many of us can find positives.  I worry about working part time and letting my family down.  However, I’m able to collect my daughter from school and have more time to help / nag over homework.   However obviously if I worked full time I wouldn’t need to say no so often when the children ask for things – life is all about balance, but yes, it’s hard to get the balance right all of the time.

Positives in life

I’m now going to make myself another mug of tea and then find my twelve year old who is still on school holidays.  Like I’m sure many twelve year old boys, he has shut himself in his room on the computer playing games, I need to drag him out but I know I’m unlikely to be successful!

So, what are your positives in life? Can you banish the blues and find happiness with all that is good?  Life is short and if there is an exam at the end, I hope I do have all the answers.

For more see – A year today, I started writing my blog – poetry – Just muddling through life

This was written in 2019 – and 2023 has certainly not been as productive, hopefully I will do better in 2024.

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