To my dad – finding inner Strength
Sitting here, watching you,
I wonder what I can do.
The tears they fall, my heart it breaks,
A stranger in me, the pain awakes.
Thinking of you, the times I treasure,
All the memories, our love, no pressure.
Father and daughter, a big part of my world,
Your love forever I will uphold.
From here on in, I’m feeling broken,
I think about the words we’ve spoken.
You wouldn’t want me to hurt and worry,
I need to be positive, rise up, stop feeling sorry.
All I can do now is think of you,
And all the pain you are going through.
A day at a time, I always say,
Projecting the future is too much, just focus on today.
So, I need to keep going, stop feeling the frailty,
Losing someone dear, is life, that’s meant to be.
Keep on going with life’s great mission,
I must keep focused on my vision.
Find my strength to understand,
That life and death go hand and hand.
I love you and I always will,
And life for now it continues still.
Thoughts
This was written one morning walking home from school. I texted it to myself on my mobile phone. Dad never heard it because he said it would make him cry and he was crying enough. He died on the 8th November 2020, about ten weeks after being diagnosed with stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer. After his first hospital admission we found he was too unwell for Chemotherapy. The illness took over and too quickly took our lovely dad away from our family.
For months I have worried about the pandemic and helped to shield my family. Then came the rule of six and feeling that I could not visit him whenever I wanted to, now he has gone I regret following the rules. I just want to see him and hold him again. This has been a really rubbish year!
For more see – Loss of my lovely dad and my writing
(If anyone knows why Word press is not letting me leave a space every four lines of the poem, please let me know, thankyou. There is a space on the document before publishing).
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4 Comments
debrapurdykong
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. Pancreatic cancer is a terrible disease, which took my mom back in June 2019. Your heartfelt poem is lovely. Thank you for sharing.
Just muddling through life
Thankyou Debra! Sorry to hear about your mum, it is all too sudden from diagnosis to gone and their pain must be unbearable. Things still don’t feel real, even though they are…
debrapurdykong
It takes a while to process everything. Take your time. It’s been a heck of a year…
Just muddling through life
Thankyou Debra!