Written for Pancreatic Cancer UK to fundraise and raise awareness of this terrible disease after losing my dad in November 2020.

Lucy

Sand between my toes, I look at Paul and wondered what I did to deserve him.  You may read this and think I’m lucky, I’m not.  I might be with an impressively handsome man, but at what cost? We have fantastic holidays, and we work well when together.  However, are we a team? He works away regularly; we hardly see each other.   Money means working long hours and though he says he loves me, I’m not sure how committed he really is.

There are times I dream of another life, there’s going to be few men who would buy me diamonds like spending pocket money.  However, is love, attention and Cubic Zirconia really that bad.

Standing here in Hawaii the beach is beautiful, I should be happy.  Its so rare that we have a weekend together before he is called back to work.  Many women would love to date an FBI hero’, but I’ve had enough. If he told me that he was quitting to work on a supermarket checkout I would selfishly be pleased.

Christopher

For years he had listened to Lucy, all her frustrations with Pete and issues with life.  He had known her since school, and she had never noticed him as more then a friend. He knew all about her as a best friend should.  She had always been worth more then the checkout girl that she had become.  With no confidence in her own ability, she refused to use the degree that she had achieved years ago.  When offered a management job she had turned it down.

Convincing a friend to choose poverty over financial freedom was not something he could do.  He had always believed that if it was meant to be, it would be. After knowing her thirty years he knew things were unlikely to change. Christopher had never met anyone like Lucy, no one who he loved as much.   Married to Kayley he knew that he had done the wrong thing and the adoring eyes of daughter Elsie made him think he had done the right thing.  Lucy would never love him.

Lucy

Good times always come to an end. Getting of the plane at Gatwick I just wanted to get home.  Conflicted over Pete, I thought of the necklace in my suitcase.  With talk of a ring and marriage I need to make a decision.  As much as I love the money, I need love and company.

As I see the familiar features of my best friend walking towards me. I do wonder why we have never got together.  Kayley seems a nice girl, but we have never really got on.   He has never shown any interest in me, stuck in the friend zone we will always be just friends.

Putting his arms out to meet me, I trip into his arms and the tears start to pour.  Feeling my life tumbling around me this wasn’t good.  Feeling his hands on my face I look up.  Trying to read him, I am confused.

“Lucy what’s wrong?”

“Its Pete, he asked me to marry him?”

Christopher hesitated,

“Isn’t that good?”

I cried harder, “I don’t know.”

“Right Luce, Coffee now.”

Steering me into the coffee shop, the confusion was flooding through me.   It was ten minutes later that I now sat in complete shock.

Finally

“I’m going to put this out there.  You are my best friend, but I need to tell you.  Lucy I’m sorry but I love you.”

“But you married Kayley.”

“Well, you don’t love me. You are with Pete.”

The tears started rolling again.

“Chris, I’ve loved you years, but you married Kayley”

Things were even more of a mess now and I longed to be back on the Hawaiian beach.  Chris had always been there for me. He even fought off my school bully, it had always been him and me.  What was I supposed to do?  I didn’t want to hurt Kayley and Pete, but I deserve happiness too.

Sat in the Gatwick café, I had finally heard the words that I’ve always wanted to hear.  Why though after he has got married and my proposal from my FBI Agent.   Do I take the easy option, ignore Kayley, daughter Elsie and Pete?  Do I grab him and ignore the consequences?  Looking at Chris, I don’t know what to do or say,

“Come on, let’s get home.”

Picking up my coat and bags, Chris reached for my suitcase.  Following me through the airport in awkward silence we had finally had the conversation that should have happened years ago.  Now we just have to work out what to do next and if we follow our hearts then at least three people are going to be hurt.

Here is my fundraising page if you would like to donate.  Any size donation is appreciated.

Written for A story a day for Pancreatic Cancer UK

Written for Pancreatic Cancer UK to fundraise and help raise awareness of this terrible illness since losing my dad in November 2020.

The Detective

With the fire raging, fiercely in the fireplace, the evening should have been romantic.  With the half-eaten take away pizza on the table and the full glasses of wine next to it, the evening should not have ended like this.   I see this too often, nice looking couples that have more to tell then your normal person on the street.  These two had a story to tell, it’s my job to work that out.

I’ve always wanted to be a Detective, catching bad guys a lifelong dream.  The good guys on the television will always catch the bad guy.  I wanted to be like them, doing something good for my community.

I enjoyed unravelling puzzles but this one had been particularly difficult. The body count was adding up and as we are desperately trying to tie the murders together more are getting killed.

Ella and Mark

Today’s bodies appeared to be boringly normal, digging deeper, Mark had been involved in a Cocaine Scandal years ago.  Researching Ella, we learned that she was an innocent party who had only known him a few weeks.  Her family didn’t know that he existed. Was she really just an unfortunate soul caught in the crossfire?

Digging up facts on the others, we found four cocaine dealers and two with no criminal record.  The count was now at eight and they had all been found at home.

Leading the investigation, we have our suspect, but we don’t know their motive.

The Cat

His life had taken a downturn the day he met mad Carla.  To keep him happy he had dealt with her customers and hid his cash in various bank accounts.  Now walking a fine line, he had always been honest till a drunken night in a bar when everything went wrong.  Taken in by her charms, he was a willing puppet and quick to do as she demanded.

As the business evolved, she had taken on Crazy Kev.  A man with a massive temper who didn’t take no, easily.  Once he had met his first victim he had continued, Cat knew that if didn’t keep his head down and carry on he was likely to be Kev’s next body.   Problem was, aware of the rising body count he wanted out, he had had enough.  Pulling out his phone he knew what he had to do.

The Detective

I’m Julie, working for homicide, you need a strong stomach for things I’ve seen.  This case has run for months and as I wondered where this would end, I received the phone call.  Grabbing my partner, we jumped again in his Ford.  Rushing to the address we had been given, the armed police were standing, guns ready.  Too often we raced in to find our informant already dead.

As we knocked on the door, we waited.  Hearing shouting, I was grateful for the men hiding at the back.  As the men around me are getting louder, we now break down the door.  Entering the property, the stench hit us. Walking into the living room, the blood scene was too gruesome to take in.

My detective made the discovery that we needed.  Down in the basement were more bodies and a man tied to a bar.  Evil lashes across his face which was red from crying and fear.

Calum

Rescuing Calum, we learnt about Mad Carla and Crazy Kev.   Knowing that Calum was uncomfortable, Kev had taken matters into his own hands.  Not realising that he had already phoned the police he brought him back to their central house.

We had been close to catching our man but needed to tie all murders to Kev.  With Calum safely in custody we finally had all the answers and all the victims finally had justice.   With Kevin and Carla jailed for life, Calum, known as Cat was able to finally enjoy his life as long as he attended Rehab, community service and stayed away from cocaine.

My life

From one case to another.  With this one now tied up; my mobile went.  Another murder and a new mystery to solve, calling my partner, once more we sat in his Ford.  This is my life; my career keeps me going and after losing my husband two years ago it keeps me sane.  My family have told me to stop, but I can’t.  If I stop, I will break so one case after another I will continue until the day that the I’m forced to retire.  Life has to go on, and it will as long as I keep the bad guys of the street.  Reaching our destination, I can hear the screaming.  Here we go again, back into another crime mystery.

Here is my fundraising page if you would like to donate.  Any size donation is appreciated.

Written for A story a day for Pancreatic Cancer UK

Written for Pancreatic Cancer UK to help fundraise and raise awareness of this terrible illness after losing my dad in November 2020

Running away

Have you ever just wanted to run, run and just keep going?  Away from life, from problems?  from responsibility, work and bills.  Away from school, friends and other people’s judgement.   We all try our best at life, but we all end up at different destinations.  Some are naturally gifted, some are masters of equations, others can spin a fantastic story, and some can raise emotion from their incredible singing.

Today had been one of those days, from sleeping through the alarm, to falling asleep at my desk.  Sleep is hard to come especially when I spend my nights staring at the ceiling.  If Natalie had let me sleep today, I might be thinking clearer this evening.  Rather than holding my throbbing head, wishing I wasn’t lying here.  As everything is in tatters, not going to work tomorrow is appealing.  As friends have given on me, things have gone further downhill.

I’ve sat and diarised my life, and I’ve wrote lists, but things just go round and round.  So, this is it, I need to get off my hamster wheel of desperation.  Put myself first and sort myself out.   We can attend a number of counselling sessions but its only us that can make the change.

I’ve always been bottom of the pile, how do I get to the top? Is education the answer? Or is it more then that?

Days ago, I saw an advert in a magazine, I had dismissed it as who would take a chance on me?   I’ve realised this could be my opportunity to change.  Does it matter if I’m awful? Focusing on my future I must be positive, I need to focus and become the achiever that I want to be.

The Carer

I never imagined I would be doing this. Racing around the supermarket throwing an elderly person’s shopping into my trolley.  Mrs Chubb appeared nice and even sweet, but she was demanding and if I buy a supermarket own brand instead of Cadburys I’ll be in trouble.  Giving back to the community is harder than I imagined.

Giving Mr Smith a morning bed bath, changing his clothes and making him breakfast had become the highlight of my day.  Allocated twenty minutes per patient is not enough.  If I could have less patients and more time with them it would be ideal.

I work a mindless job all week that I can’t afford to give up, and care on a Saturday.   Mrs Chubb, Mr Smith, Mrs France and Mrs Lees are amongst my clients.  If only the care work paid more, as I actually feel fulfilled doing it.  Is caring achieving?  Yes, I think it is.   It’s tough and these amazing people need me.  Patience and ability to listen are part of this job description and not everyone can manage it.

The Administrator

Typing letters and hitting print, over and over is rather tedious.  How am I contributing? Yes, people are getting notified of their appointments and Sandra would still not be able to operate the photocopier. Why do I do this to myself?  It’s easier than taking abuse from Mrs Chubb but I know that she needs me.  Am I needed here? I don’t know.

Happy

I’ve been unhappy for so long, but I knew it was up to me to sort it out.  My pursuit of happiness did not mean finding a man, it was for me to find it elsewhere.  If I hadn’t read that magazine, working for ‘Weekend Care’ wouldn’t have occurred to me.  The fulfilment I feel from helping people is what I need.

My co-workers are not aware of my busy Saturdays. Its my business and they wouldn’t understand.  Life continues, a day at a time but now I’m happy to just run to the weekend rather than running away from my life forever.

Here is my fundraising page if you would like to donate.  Any size donation is appreciated.

Written for A story a day for Pancreatic Cancer UK