Parenting
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The struggle of being a mum
Today is a day I’m not proud of, I’m finding it a struggle being a mum. Feeling rubbish, I have not been well since Wednesday morning. I had plans for the school holidays, I was going to be the model parent, take the children out daily and explore. Instead, I’ve spent Wednesday and Thursday in bed and today I’m sat under my blanket watching Hawaii Five O. Yes a very lazy day. I’m not sure how single mums manage as daddy has had to help this week. Yes, it can certainly be a struggle to be a mum
Now sat here, pains in my legs and stomach, the children are playing on the computer, yes great parenting! Trying to get myself motivated to move, I’m still wearing my pyjamas. The energy to get dressed and tackle the weeds in the garden is just not there. Maybe I will find the energy tomorrow.
For the first time in months, maybe years, daddy has had to do the food shop. I’m sat now looking at what needs to be done, but I hurt too much to move. Trying to muster up the energy to walk to the toaster, I need food.
As a mum, we take on so much responsibility and feel guilty when we can’t provide. Life goes on despite mum not being available for a few days. I’ve still done the washing and helped the children late at night, but reading and homework have not been completed.
The children wanted to go for a bike ride, maybe another week, I haven’t driven the car since Tuesday morning, let alone ride a bike.
Sitting here now, we have the weekend left for reading and homework. As a mum, I think there are times when we need to give ourselves a break. I managed to have a bath yesterday morning, bubbles and warmth, very good for achy tired limbs.
Through fear of passing anything to the children, I haven’t hugged them properly since Tuesday. They both need to go to school on Monday, I have to go to work. Life does throw its challenges at us, right now I’m grateful to be getting better.
In life, we all need to try and stay positive, which is hard if like me you often dwell on the negative. There are so many mum’s who are either alone or have more serious illnesses, not just a random sick bug.
My plan for the next few days is to try and make the most of the weekend with the children. Maybe spend some time in the garden. Spending some time tidying would be good too as looking at my house right now, it is obvious to me that I’ve not been well.
So to the single mums out there, how do you manage when you are not well? How do you get the children to school after a night of having your head resting on the toilet seat? I honestly don’t think I could have got them there, not without help. The struggle of being a mum is certainly greater for some mums than others.
It’s June tomorrow, halfway through the year and the Annual Bloggers Bash is about two weeks away. Not long now, I’m excited to finally be meeting some of you properly. To meet the people behind your blogs. I’m often found hiding in the corner, too shy to talk. I’m hoping that as we have already shared so much that I will be able to relax and enjoy it.
It has been years since I’ve travelled to London Victoria. I’ve already sat and tried to plan my day. However, it is impossible to plan the journey home properly due to the number of platforms at the station. I will be the loon stopping the station staff for directions to the right platform. On a positive note though if I end up going in the wrong direction it could be an adventure and a good blog post. Though it could work out expensive.
My daughter has just come in from the garden with a moth on her leg. I’ve not got the energy to ensure she takes it back outside safely and she is now heading upstairs. She is strong-willed and often will not do as she is told., part of the ongoing struggle of being a mum.
Anyway, on with the day, the television is now off and daddy is now on the computer. What is it with boys/men and computer games? I’m now going to get up and make a mug of tea. Then maybe do something productive if my body will let me.
For more see Maintaining balance in life
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The work day is over – Poetry
The work day is over, I just want to sleep,
But instead of bed, I’m active, a mother’s job to keep.
Pulling the weeds out in the garden,
While my daughter tries to help me.
Dragging out the brambles, I’m scratched and hurt,
So tired, just want to sit with a mug of tea.The commitments that we all have,
I can rarely just relax.
The washing, the cooking and the cleaning,
Where do I find time for reading?
Filling the green bin with weeds is fulfilling,
For once maybe with the garden, I’m winning.The work week has dragged by slowly,
I’m feeling so very busy.
The ongoing daily routine,
The things a mother has seen.
Kids to school and us to work,
My legs and body right now hurt.So I have one more day on my own,
Before a week with the kids at home.
I was planning to relax but now I have the garage to sort,
Kids toys and child seats, a sentiment that can’t be bought.
To tidy and keep or throw away,
Confusing but my heart wants it all to stay.Every day we all get older, not all getting stronger,
Making the most of the time we have, the days do not get longer.
The challenges life presents us,
The twists and turns, sometimes life feels a mess.
We all work on and try so hard,
All working for that ‘did right’ card.All the crying, their needs and wants,
All their pleading, their love and haunts.
No one said that parenting is easy,
The demanding challenges and mystery.
The ongoing questioning, being a role model,
This parenting lark is hard, it isn’t a doddle.Juggling our work and life,
Being a mum and a loving wife.
Demands of family and of home,
There are times when I want to be alone.
Working hard, sometimes struggling,
Trying to get everything done.School holidays are around the corner,
Plans to make, the weather is getting warmer.
Keeping them busy, keeping up with their talking,
Being active a lot of walking.
I need to be strong and spend the time,
Keep them from technology and have some fun.Exhaustion from work and from life,
Homework, reading, trouble and strife.
Living and working, afraid to fall,
Working hard, wanting it all.
Some things in life will always be hard,
And sometimes we will never want to part.The ups and downs of a working mum,
Balancing life, balancing work and fun.
Working together, working as a team,
Trying our best to live life’s dream.
So, on with life and roll on next week,
To spend time with the children, little time to think.For more see, Being mum, the work never stops
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Maintaining balance in life
Maintaining balance in life is never easy. Awkward children, tired husband, house insurance due for renewal, school photos to be ordered, my head is swimming with information. Still writing my novel, now at 37000 words. So much I need to expand on, but getting my thoughts straight to write it is hard. I know I need to get my first draft written.
I’ve started writing my time travel timeline on wallpaper. I’m realising there is so much to writing an exciting, interesting novel. I’ve been advised that because I’m writing Science Fiction, I need to read more Science Fiction.
How do writers fit in all the reading and research alongside family life? I’ve purchased a notebook to write down ideas whilst I’m out and about. I’ve been advised as well to try and make my novel humorous, but I am not Douglas Adams. Would be nice to believe though that I could be as funny.
So what else is happening? Last week I was involved in a car accident. Was not to bad but scary enough. The children were upset but are now pleased with their new car seats and the hire car while it is being repaired. I have gone from a 2010 Citroen C3 Picasso to a new black BMW. The children have already managed to set of its alarm. My son touched it and it started screaming at him. I’ve never driven a car with an alarm before.
Despite the car being shiny and new though, I want my old diesel back. If I was to buy a new car tomorrow it would not be a BMW. I was stationary at the time of the accident. I hid in the hedge as she passed and scraped my car. Due to having a dashcam the insurance company has the evidence that I was not at fault. It might have just paid for itself. I would honestly recommend buying one. The footage shows that I’m doing 0mph as she hits me. The kids make it more dramatic by crying, we were all in shock but none of us were hurt.
So now trying to focus on what I need to do. I’m tired and just want to sleep. Maybe after a lay in tomorrow, I will feel more recharged. Maybe the children will leave me long enough to sleep in. Tomorrow as well as everything else I need to do, I need to help the kids with their homework.
I still need to make a decision on the house insurance, it really is not as simple as compare the market or confused.com or even money supermarket. Not as simple as just pick the cheapest. All policies cover different things. Different excesses, different levels of cover. My head hurts trying to decide. I have pages of notes and have spent a lot of time on the phone. I am a great over thinker!
Does anyone else worry about the amount of time you spend with a mobile phone to your ear? I fear that I’m frying my brain. If I put the phone on speaker I find that the person I’m talking to can not always hear me very well. I think I need to attach some headphones to my mobile phone.
Another week left of school and work and then we have another holiday. I’m looking forward to time at home with the kids however they are hard work. The balance of time with the children and their stress and time away from work stress. I’m planning now for the week coming, a trip to the town, we have library books to return.
Yes, the pile of library books that we took out a few weeks back have still to go back. The wonders of being able to renew them online. My son chose most of them and he has maybe read three out of about twelve books. I borrowed a Dean Koontz novel and have not read it, life keeps getting in the way and I need to read Science Fiction.
So, what next? I need to be more focused, balancing work and life is never going to be easy. The children are demanding and I need to spend quality time with them too as well as Daddy.
How can a healthy balance be achieved? Maybe I need to start doing Tai Chi every morning. However, that would just add to an already hectic schedule.
For a working, writing mum with young children, managing a busy household. The demands of balancing everything feels heavy sometimes. The importance of just being you and making time for you! It is crucial to find the necessary time to recharge and refuel.
So, how do you manage to balance everything? Does life feel hectic and often stressful for you as well? I appreciate a lay-in and time alone under the duvet. May sound selfish but I really need it. If I could smuggle coffee and chocolate inside as well I would. This morning, being my day off, I wanted to return to bed after the school run. However, I had to much to do and had to accept delivery of the BMW and say goodbye to my car for a few days.
The joys of life and it’s stresses and challenges. The challenge of maintaining a healthy balance.
for more see, Twelve ideas for mum to help relieve stress
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